On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were dividing four boxes of tree decorations, each claiming our share. Kit, now living independently, wanted to adorn her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the ornaments, however, meant confronting years of sorrow and loss for children who were no longer part of the holiday celebrations.
Over eight years, our family fluctuated with the arrival and departure of 23 foster children. While most stays were temporary, our two children eventually became part of our family through adoption. It surprised me that Kit remembered the stories behind each homemade ornament, even from makers she had never met. I was also struck by the differences in our holiday memories.
As I uncovered a tree topper given to my husband and me on our first Christmas as newlyweds, memories flooded back. I ran my fingers over the crack on the iridescent angel, held together by Krazy Glue, symbolic of our broken marriage. Passing the angel to Kit, I hesitated, but her eyes sparkled with joy under her festive reindeer hat.
Recalling how she always yearned to place the angel atop the tree, Kit chuckled, noting her growth over the years. With a shared laugh, the decision was made – the angel would now belong to Kit.
Opening another box revealed a Santa sleigh and reindeer ornament crafted by an eight-year-old boy we once fostered. Made from foam blocks and pipe cleaners at a Christmas party years ago, the ornament evoked a mix of lingering grief and unresolved emotions. Despite the separation, we hoped he knew of our enduring love for him.
Sensing my emotions, Kit took the Santa decoration, reminiscing about how I used to place it low on the tree for her to play with. She admired the details, connecting them to a favorite movie scene, reflecting our shared moments with foster children.
Ensuring inclusivity during the holidays for foster children in our care was a priority for our family. We adjusted our Christmas dinner dates so they could spend time with their families on Christmas and Boxing Day. We established a tradition of giving each child unique ornaments, allowing them to keep a piece of our time together.
Retrieving a reindeer ornament made of pompoms, ribbon, and pipe cleaners, memories flooded back. Dubbed “Big Balls” by our son, the quirky ornament was a reminder of shared moments and laughter.
Dividing ornaments during my divorce years ago, including the reindeer set, marked a poignant moment of sharing and fairness. Kit’s reflection on the enduring presence of Rudolph on the tree highlighted the lasting impact of our past experiences.
This year’s tree decoration holds a promise of new beginnings, with Kit’s enthusiasm and cherished memories overshadowing any lingering sadness. I eagerly anticipate seeing her decorated tree, a symbol of resilience and shared traditions.